I know this isn't really sports-related ... well, I guess it technically is because it involved working out, but I just had to relate this little tale. Tonight when I went to the gym, I get in the locker room and pick an empty locker. I change, then put my stuff in the locker. I pick up my lock and ... I forgot the combination. FORGOT THE FUDGIN' COMBINATION. I've had this lock for about four years, so I've probably unlocked it at least a few hundred times. But tonight ... nothing. Just blank space in my head. Rarely have I felt as old as I did tonight. My memory is going, along with my hairline and any hopes for a lasting, meaningful relationship. So now I have to buy a new lock, and this time I apparently have to write the combination on my gym shorts, or maybe even scrawl it across my forehead. Pretty soon I'll be hitching my pants up to my chest, eating tapioca and reminiscing about the good ol' days, when Metallica hadn't yet sold out and George Brett went apes**t over some pine tar.

 

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