Steve Lyons got fired for joking that Lou Piniella stole his wallet. It's the first time in his years of working for Fox that I've raised my eyebrows at anything Steve Lyons said. It doesn't bother me that announcers can be fired so quickly for racially insensitive remarks. I just wish it were easier to get rid of them for not saying anything interesting, humorous or relevant.
Announcers I'd fire if I could: Brent Musberger, Mike Patrick, Chris Berman, everyone in the White Sox booth, Dick Enberg, Jon Miller, Brent Musberger again, just to be sure, Shannon Sharpe, Michael Irvin, Deion Sanders if he's still working, Bryant Gumbel, Bill Raftery, Tom Seaver, Dick Vitale, Clark Kellogg, Kevin Kelley, James Schmidt, Troy Aikman, Joe Theimsan.
Announcers I'd keep: Bob Costas, Sterling Sharpe, Tom Jackson, Tim McCarver, Joe Morgan, Susan Waldman, John Sterling (Barely) Gus Johnson, Jim Lampley, Max Kellerman, Steve Farhood, Marv Albert, John Madden, Al Michaels
The announcers whose names don't immediately come to mind? They all get raises.
I'd also fire any producer or director that shows me parents, girlfriends or assorted family members in the stands, sideline announcers that try to interview spectators while play is underway.
Why do we need to see an extreme closeup of the quarterback calling the play at the line? I don't want to see inside JP Losman's helmet--I want to see the formation. Why did Fox feel the need to show us the GM's reaction after every pitch in the ninth inning yesterday. "Ball one on Ordonez...aaaand the Tiger's GM is happy. Called strike...aaaand the GM is disappointed..."
If I'm elected commissioner of sports, anyone donning a rally cap will be immediately suspended. If steroids is worth 50 games, rally caps are worth at least 10. Cute little team hand holding and foot crossing rituals while watching free throws will be similarly penalized, as will any football player on the sideline waving his arms to fire up the crowd.
I know it's a gimmick, but I love the ESPN multi-network gimmicks around big games. We got to watch and hear the producer and director during USC-Va Tech a couple years ago. Each network had a different camera angle for Carolina-Duke last year (including Cameron Crazy cam and one channel devoted to the slam dunk cam on top of the backboard). The only reason I watched the end of Auburn-Florida last night was because I was waiting for boxing to start. But I was sold on the six camera angles on split screen while Colin Cowherd led a discussion group. We need more of this. Don't give me mid-inning interviews and more sideline reporters. Bury me with camera angles! Be creative. How about a weekend football scores and highlights show with live cut-ins to Las Vegas casinos. Let us see what the lines are doing and how the bettors react.
